So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
