he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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