I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
