..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
