Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We got so high we made milksteak
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You pole danced in your parka.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
