Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
