we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
