he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
