the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
