Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
