yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
