can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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