Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
