Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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