I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is wine microwaveable?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
