He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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