It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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