Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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