I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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