If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
