It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
