just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
