wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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