Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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