I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
