I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
