that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize