i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
