Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
