Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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