If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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