so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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