is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize