john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
