SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
