If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
