I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
