On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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