My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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