thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and she was petting her beer can
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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