It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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