her vagine was all disorganized.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize