I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
