Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
