The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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