who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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