dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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