Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
