alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You took a bar mat shot.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
