just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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