I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
