this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
