Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
