this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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