Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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