I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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