i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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