Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
