the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
