these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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