PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize