He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
