Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
