I CAN MOONWALK!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
