I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
