guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
