we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
