belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I love having hate sex.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
