Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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