LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
