dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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