its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
