Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
