I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
