So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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