remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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