..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
please come you make the beer taste better
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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