Do you still have your period?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
