It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
