Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
