Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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