HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
