Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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