Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
