Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
