Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
