I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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